Long Way To Happy
by addictedtowriting
Summary: Addison returns to New York after divorcing Derek. But what happens when he comes after her? Addek.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N- Just a little idea that popped into my head. I, for one, do not want Addison and Derek to divorce, but if they do, this is what I want to happen. Hope everyone enjoys it! By the way, I have a weird habit of making my story titles the names of songs. I'm too unoriginal to create my own.**

_no more waking up to innocence  
say hello to hesitance  
to everyone I meet  
thanks to you, years ago  
I guess I'll never know  
what love means to me but, oh  
I'll keep on rolling down this road  
but I've got a bad, bad feeling_

_Long Way To Happy, Pink_

**Long Way To Happy**

"Where to, miss?"

"817 Fifth Avenue, please," Addison replied with a yawn.

The driver studied her for a moment. Her red hair was tied up, there were dark circles under her eyes, and she looked like she hadn't slept in weeks.

"Long night, eh?"

She offered a smile before replying. "Yes. But that's the price you pay for saving lives."

"Doctor, huh? I went to med school before. Quit a month in. Couldn't take all the studying. Plus, all those hours don't give you much of a social life."

Addison couldn't help but chuckle. "That's true. I couldn't even tell you the last time I got a goodnight's sleep, or a decent shower. But I'm not bothered by it. All part of the job."

"Well, I sure hope you have a husband that takes care of you," the driver said as he stopped the cab. "Here we are, miss."

Addison reached into her pocket and produced several bills. "Here you go. Keep the change."

"Nice talkin' to you. Take care of yourself."

"You too. Thanks."

---------

Addison didn't even bother to change into pajamas as she slipped into bed. _I sure hope you have a husband that takes care of you _immediately raced through her mind without warning. If he had only knew. It had been two months since Addison had found out about Derek's little "episode" at the prom. Two months since she had signed the divorce papers and left Seattle. Two months without seeing her husband, or in this case, ex-husband.

She tried not to think about him. During the day, she threw herself into her work. Nothing seemed to bother her there. She knew it was unhealthy, but she hardly ever left the hospital. Because at home, there was always the reminder of him. His clothes were still in the drawers, his pictures still hung on the walls, his shampoo was still in the bathroom. Addison didn't have the heart to get rid of anything that had once belonged to him.

She let herself wonder about his relationship with Meredith. Were they together? Had he went back to her as soon as Addison had left? Addison couldn't bear the thought of him celebrating her departure. When she had left, he had tried to stop her. Told her that he was sorry, that he had made a mistake, and that he still loved her. But by that point, Addison had given up. She had been strong for six months, and that had been her breaking point. She was only human, after all.

When she let herself think about him, she wasn't sure whether to cry or to smile. But she did know one thing: she still loved him, despite all the backstabbing, all the lying, and all the cheating. And as much as she wanted to hate him for what he had done to her, she couldn't. Addison didn't think it was possible.

* * *

"And our baby will be okay, Dr. Montgomery?"

Addison smiled and gave her patient's hand a reassuring squeeze. "Your baby will be fine, I can promise you that."

Her patient sighed in relief. This, in Addison's opinion, was the best part of the job: delivering the good news. Telling a patient that they would live. Or handing a newborn baby to its mother. It had to be the best feeling in the world.

Addison excused herself and quickly made her way to the elevator. She had surgery in an hour, and she wanted to get some sleep beforehand.

As she made her way to an empty on-call room, she felt someone grab her wrist.

"What the-" Addison stopped when she saw it was Mark.

"Jesus, Mark. You scared me."

"Sorry, Addie." He smiled, and Addison couldn't help but grin.

"I know you have surgery soon, but I just wanted to run this by you. If you're not doing anything after your shift ends tonight, would you like to go to dinner? Italian, Japanese, anything you want."

She looked down at her feet. She loved Mark, she really did. He cared about her, for one thing. He looked out for her, and he made time for her, something that Derek had never did. But she wasn't ready for a relationship. It wasn't like Mark was pushing her into anything, because he wasn't. He was just waiting for her.

"You know I'd love to, Mark, but maybe another night. I'm exhausted, and it's only noon. I was planning on staying home tonight."

"Well, how about I order a pizza? We can even rent those chick flick movies you like so much. How about it?"

Addison looked into his pleading eyes. He wanted to spend time with her. He wanted to be _near_ her. And Addison missed that feeling of being loved and wanted. What was she doing?

"I'd love to, Mark. How does 8:30 sound?"

---------

"Yes, two large pizzas. One plain, one anchovy." She grimaced. Mark had always had a thing for anchovies.

She hung up the phone and checked her watch. For some strange reason, she was actually looking forward to spending some time with Mark. As she settled into a chair, she couldn't help but sigh. It was nice to be back in her apartment. She had a working toilet, as well as a decent-sized kitchen. And the best part of all, she had closet space. Tons of closet space.

Addison was broken out of her reverie by a knock at the door. Thinking it was Mark, Addison jogged and pulled it open.

"You're ten minutes early, but that's-"

She stopped. It wasn't Mark.

It was Derek.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N- Thank you for all your reviews! I'm glad that everyone likes this so far. Anyway, here's chapter two. Enjoy!**

_it's gonna take a long time to love  
it's gonna take a lot to hold on  
it's gonna be a long way to happy, yeah  
left in the pieces that you broke me into  
torn apart but now I've got to  
keep on rolling like a stone  
cause it's gonna be a long, long way to happy _

_Long Way To Happy, Pink_

**Chapter Two**

Derek was standing right in front of her. Her husband. Ex-husband, she quickly reminded herself. There were so many things she wanted to know, but she instead opted for a simple "What are you doing here?"

"Can't a man visit his ex-wife?" he asked innocently, flashing her a smile. Addison could feel her knees starting to go weak.

"Are you with Meredith?"

"Yes." She noticed he couldn't quite meet her eyes.

"Then you shouldn't be here, visiting me like this. It isn't right."

"I can't visit a person I've spent more than a decade with? Just because we've had some problems, Addie, doesn't mean I can't see you. And besides, I'm here for a consult. That's it."

"Oh." Addison looked down. She was surprisingly disappointed. She had thought that maybe, just maybe, he had come back for her. He had realized that he had made a mistake, and that he couldn't believe he had let her go. Just wishful thinking, she supposed.

"I'll be here for a week. But I was thinking, if you wanted to, that is, we could get together maybe. I'll be at your hospital, so we'll probably run into each other. I don't know, maybe I could take you out to dinner tomorrow night?"

"I-I don't know, Derek. I might be doing something tomorrow night." _Liar. _

Addison looked up at him, and flushed. He hadn't taken his eyes off her the entire time.

"Well, if your plans change, you know my number. I'll see you tomorrow, Addie."

He was gone.

She missed him already.

---------

The next morning, she decided that if she did see Derek that day, she would ignore him. He was just her ex-husband. An ex-husband that she was still hopelessly in love with, but nobody had to know that particular detail. She would focus on her patients. Addison was a professional, after all.

She just hoped that Mark wouldn't run into Derek. It would be a disaster.

---------

Derek managed to corner her after surgery. He had been watching her from the gallery, but she pretended she hadn't seen him.

"You did a good job, Addison," he said as he followed her to the elevator.

"It was nothing, Derek. Just a simple C-section," she replied nonchalantly.

"Well, you still did a good job. You always do." He was looking at her again, and she could feel her pulse starting to race. She couldn't take it anymore.

"What do you want, Derek? Two months ago you hated me. You were off screwing Meredith Grey in an exam room while I was only yards away. I was the obligation, remember?"

He had that look in his eyes. The look he always got when he was hurt, or upset.

"I want to start over. I know we had problems, but before we were married, we were friends. Best friends. I miss my friend, Addison."

She looked away. _Where the hell was the elevator?_

"I don't know if I can do that again."

"I think you could. We both could, if we tried. Just promise me that you'll think about it."

The doors finally opened, and Addison stepped in.

"I'm not promising anything, Derek."

---------

Two hours later, she was sitting in the cafeteria. The hurt look in Derek's eyes and the way she had dismissed him kept replaying in her head. Was she making a mistake? All he wanted was friendship. But there was always the chance that he would hurt her again. It was inevitable, in Derek's case.

_"Derek, it's Addison. It's almost ten and you're still not here. I guess that surgery was more important than our anniversary."_

_"Addie, it's Derek. I won't be home tonight. Give my ticket to Mark, he'll enjoy the play."_

_"Derek, I haven't talked to you in days. Where have you been?"_

_"Happy birthday, Addison. I'll try to get home in time for your party, I promise. I love you."_

_"I miss you, D. Come home."_

_"Something came up. Don't bother making dinner."_

_"Derek, it's Ad-oh, forget it."_

"Is this seat taken?"

Addison looked up to see Mark standing above her. Her heart fell.

"Go ahead," she replied, picking at her salad.

"I heard Derek's here for a consult," he began.

Addison just nodded.

"Have you talked to him?"

"No. We haven't run into each other," she lied.

"Well, that's good, isn't it?"

"Yeah, I guess it is."

_"Addie, where have you been? Your shift ended hours ago."_

_She remained silent as she began to take off her heels._

_Derek stood up and walked toward her. "Babe, what happened? What's going on?"_

_Addison felt her tears begin to fall. "My mom died, Derek. My brother just called and told me."_

_"Oh, Addison." He wrapped his arms around her and whispered meaningless nothings into her ear, because he didn't know what else to do. He wasn't used to this Addison, the Addison that was so broken and vulnerable that she actually needed him._

_"Promise me something Derek," she said through sobs._

_"Anything, Addie."_

_"Don't ever leave me. Please don't ever leave me. Because without you, I don't think I'd survive."_

_"I'll never leave you, baby. I'll never, ever leave you."_

---------

She found him at the end of the day. He was walking out of the hospital, wearing the leather jacket that she had bought him for his birthday one year. A light rain began to fall as she ran after him.

"Derek, wait!"

He turned around, and she could see the relief in his eyes.

"I've been thinking, and maybe we could do it. Be friends, that is."

Derek just continued to stare at her, a smile on his face.

"Derek, say something!" The rain started to fall harder now, and she was having a hard time seeing him.

"Thank you, Addison."

"What!" she yelled over the rain.

"I said, thank you!" he screamed back.

"Oh."

They both started to laugh then. When they stopped, Addison realized Derek's hand was in hers, and he was leading her to his car. She couldn't help but think that maybe, this friendship thing would work. Maybe he wouldn't hurt her. And maybe, everything would turn out okay in the end.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N- Thanks again for the reviews! Sorry this chapter took so long. I know it's short, but I have something big planned for the next chapter, so look forward to that. Enjoy and review!**

**­Chapter 3**

"So this is where you live, huh?" Addison asked as she stepped into Derek's hotel room. It was located in The Plaza, one of the most luxurious hotels in New York. While the room was quaint and nicely decorated, Addison couldn't help but notice the mess Derek had made out of it. Clothes were strewn everywhere, and several empty beer cans were lying in a pile on the side of the bed.

"I would have cleaned up, but I didn't know you were coming," Derek replied as he handed Addison a glass of wine.

"It's fine, don't worry about it." She took a thoughtful sip from her glass and sat down on his bed. _Now what?_

"It feels good to be back in the city, I must say."

Addison looked up and smiled. "Yeah? I thought you were a country boy, what with the fishing and the living in the middle of nowhere," she teased.

Derek sat beside her and chuckled. "Yes, well, that can get pretty boring. Living in the middle of nowhere, I mean. It gets lonely sometimes. I've missed you."

"Doesn't Meredith visit?" Even Addison could tell that her voice took on icy as she said the intern's name. She couldn't help it, though. Meredith Grey was the woman who had stolen her husband's heart. The one woman who, despite her vulnerability and ordinary looks, had fallen head over heals in love with Derek.

He ignored her sarcasm and looked down at his shoes. "Sometimes. But we're both busy. I haven't had a real conversation with her in days."

"Sorry to hear that," she responded, looking into her glass.

"If we do this friends thing, Ad, I don't want it to be awkward. I want to be able to talk to you, openly and honestly. I can't have you judge me. I just want a friend, nothing more."

_Nothing more._ Addison sighed and turned to look at him. "I completely agree. Nothing more."

Derek grinned and squeezed her hand. "Alright, then."

---------

"So I witnessed a miracle today. I was standing in the elevator with your ex-husband. And he didn't punch me this time. In fact, he actually started up a conversation. It was something out of The Twilight Zone, I swear."

Addison couldn't help but laugh at Mark's shock. Derek had confessed to her the previous night that he had wanted to make amends with his ex-best friend. It made her proud to think that Derek had stuck to his word.

"Really? That's great," she replied innocently.

"Yeah, it is." He smiled to himself before looking up at her. "So, how's your day going so far?"

Addison closed her chart and handed it to a nurse. "It's going pretty good, actually. I only have one more surgery for today, and then I'm done."

"Have you run into Derek yet?"

Mark's question caught her off guard. "I-well, no. I don't think I'm ready to face him just yet," she lied.

She didn't know why she kept lying to him. It was like a habit that she just couldn't break. Was she afraid of what he might say? She didn't want him to know that her and Derek were friends. He wouldn't approve, and it would just infuriate him.

"Addie-"

"Well, I better run. Lots of work to do. I'll see you later, Mark." He managed to kiss her on the cheek before she hurried down the hallway.

---------

"I heard you talked to Mark today," Addison announced as she followed Derek out of the hospital.

"Well, I told you I would."

"He was shocked."

Derek laughed and continued walking. Addison grabbed his arm and he turned to look at her.

"I'm glad that you're doing this. Trying to make amends, I mean."

"I knew it would be the honorable thing to do. And plus, I wanted to make you happy. Seeing that smile of yours is always a reward."

Addison blushed and tried to look away, but Derek's hand on her cheek stopped her from doing so.

"I love you, Addie. Don't you ever forget that, okay?"

_Nothing more, Addison. He just wants a friend. Nothing more._

"Okay." She paused before continuing. "You doing anything tonight? I want you to see the apartment. I redecorated it."

"Don't tell me it's all in pink," he whined as Addison hailed a taxi.

She giggled at his expression.

"Don't worry, babe, it isn't. I wouldn't do that to you."

Derek merely smiled at her. "Yeah, I know you wouldn't."


End file.
